I Remember…

Remembering God’s faithfulness today after rupturing my left achilles tendon 14 years ago today on July 27, 2007.

Thankful I can still walk, run, jump and dance — something that was not possible 14 years ago today! Thankful I could walk 5.5 miles one year ago today (on 7-27-20) and dance and teach choreography to an “I Remember” song this time last year at a dance camp!

I remember

Healing involves a process. Healing takes time.

God brought healing and restoration through about a year long and often grueling process. I truly believe, because I felt there was still a calling and a higher purpose to stay involved teaching and mentoring others through dance, this helped me persevere through the not so brief and not so pleasurable recovery process.

Are you going through a process of healing either physically or emotionally today?

The journey of healing can be timely, challenging, painful and discouraging at times. Focus on something in your future you know God wants you to do and you look forward to. This always helps our minds and hearts through the healing process.

Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise Him again— my Savior and my God! Now I am deeply discouraged, but I will remember You…
Psalm 42:5-6a

Healing from wounds – physical or emotional – usually involves a process. Only an instantaneous miracle is process free. As we remain committed to our Father God’s calling and His plans, He will remain faithful to carry us through whatever painful experience we may encounter, in order to fulfill His purpose in our lives.

He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.
Psalm 147:3

O Lord my God, I cried to You for help, and You restored my health.
Psalm 30:2

Not surprisingly, the injury occurred while dancing spontaneously at a Hosanna Sacred Arts festival event. I leaped and it snapped. How many of us can remember an experience that started out so happy and fun, but ended up with an unexpected injury or visit to the emergency room? Hopefully, many of you do not have a memory to remember like this. I am thankful this is one of only a few I remember too!

I remember

Healing involves pain, even if the pain is not initially felt.

Being unable to walk or put any weight on my leg at the time of the rupture should have been a red flag to the seriousness of my injury and the no pain, no regain of use road I was about to embark on. But beyond a few sore muscles, even though in my 40’s, I had no experience with any type of dance injury, minor or not so. Only feeling very minimal discomfort as my achilles ruptured was not in any way a good indicator of what was awaiting me post surgery; I was oblivious of the painstaking path to recovery. On my first day home following surgery, the piercing pain felt like a knife cutting through my leg – seriously. The pain of childbirth, which I pushed through twice, is not etched in my memory as one of the worst pains I remember, but, instead this excruciatingly painful incision which produced loud cries and lots of tears I remember vividly to this day. (Now, since there was no beautiful bundle of joy birthed through this pain that might explain some of that – haha). Yes, the delivery of my first child was a long and painful process, but this post surgery pain, though lesser in length, was powerfully intense.

I remember

Healing involves accepting help from others.

Accepting help is humbling for sure. When you cannot walk, or even take a shower on your own post surgery, much less conduct your own physical therapy, you accept all the help you can get. From the onset, sweet Sarah, a younger dancer friend, carried me to my car, and she was my first of many helpers in the healing and recovery journey.

Who is helping you with your healing journey today?

Are you willingly accepting the help of those who God has placed around you in your recovery process?

The Lord nurses them when they are sick and restores them to health.
Psalm 41:3

I remember

Healing involves our participation and our cooperation with God.

The process of this healing and restoration did require my participation. We participate with God in the healing and restoration process. I had to see an orthopedic surgeon, schedule and wait for surgery, walk on crutches for 8 weeks, wear a boot for 6 weeks, follow the surgeon’s orders, actively participate in physical therapy with a Physical Therapist 2 to 3 times per week for several months, and continue the exercises at home for many more months. Even the therapy in the beginning was uncomfortable, and sometimes, I actually dreaded going and wanted to cancel my appointment. Again, my desire to return to the plan I still believe God had for me using dance helped me to push myself more on those dreary days. Beyond just perseverance, the desire to not only see my leg restored but to regain an opportunity to dance and teach again, held me accountable to the slow recovery process.

We all experience pain and setbacks. Our lack of participation with God in the healing and restoration process can be what stops us from being allowed to still participate in the purpose God has for us.

When we experience emotional wounds and broken hearts, not only does healing require our involvement, but the healing will not even begin until we open our hearts to God and others too. Prayer, talking with a trusted counselor, pastor or faithful friend, forgiving someone, asking for forgiveness – these are just some of the steps we take to experience emotional healing and restoration (James 5:16; Psalm 23:3).

I will lift up my eyes to the mountains. Where will my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.
Psalm 121:1-2 NLV

If the Lord had not been my help, my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence.
Psalm 94:17 ESV

In His kindness God called you to share in His eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, He will restore, support, and strengthen you, and He will place you on a firm foundation.
1 Peter 5:10

I remember

The healing process allows time for personal reflection and introspection.

Following the injury, of course, I was forced to be still. Actually more of a desire to write began to be stirred and awakened as I was initially incapacitated. I talked with God asking Him, “Am I done with dance and teaching dance?” Later, through a process of seeing God open and close doors, I was reminded God still wanted me to pursue teaching and using dance as an avenue for ministry. Dance has been a gift I have enjoyed and seen God use to mentor and inspire younger dancers to praise God not only with their dance but with every gift God has given and others to praise and honor God through dance. Even, the next summer, in July of 2008, my daughter and I attended a Dance Revolution conference in Dallas, Texas, and further confirmation was given.

The writing desire that began to be stirred up during this time of resting, stillness, and recovery has ultimately led to experiencing God awakening more prayer, more free and spontaneous worship through dance, more remembering, reflecting and writing, and more pondering on the Words of my Father.

Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him.
Psalm 62:5

But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] Will gain new strength and renew their power; They will lift up their wings [and rise up close to God] like eagles [rising toward the sun]; They will run and not become weary, They will walk and not grow tired.
Isaiah 40:31 Amplified Bible

Today, I remember this healing and restoration process.

Today, I remember and I say thank You, Lord, for fulfilling your faithful promise to heal and restore all our wounds, and even our wounded souls, especially as we remember to turn to You and accept Your help.

Father, I pray Your mighty healing power over all who need healing today – physically, emotionally, and mentally. You are the Lord our Helper and our Healer. We thank You and praise You. Amen.

And we know God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them. Romans 8:28

O Lord, if You heal me, I will be truly healed; if You save me, I will be truly saved. My praises are for You alone! Jeremiah 17:14

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